After all, no man can avoid reaching the end of his life.

Sometimes it is hard for me to understand why things are done.
Sometimes I go along with things and am later hurt when someone is offended, especially someone who told me otherwise.
Sometimes I can't stand the world and my mind that never seems to take a break.
All the time I'm tired and cold, waiting for the sun.

Hanover College is nice. Academically it is fairly challenging. My bed is a bed, my roof keeps the weather out, and warm meals are provided all day.

Socially, as always it is horrible.

Not horrible, but still, social. Which, I guess, is what one would expect. It is just so difficult sometimes and I want to disappear. But, I guess i don't need anyone else but me.

And what I have noticed is that you can never really predict someone else. You may trust an individual, but it doesn't matter, as they will act in their own interest no matter what. This, I find exhausting.

But at least I have realized this. It is much easier to avoid hurt and confusion when you have the guts to face the truth.

I guess it is just a matter of adapting and trying to find a way to be happy. Repetition of the phrase "I am happy, I am happy" maybe?

I am happy.

Adios.

As difficult as it was to reach Spectre, I was fated to get there eventually. After all, no man can avoid reaching the end of his life -Edward Bloom (Big Fish)

It might be better with a Goa'uld in my head, in some ways.

Hello all! It has been awhile.

This is simply because of the fact that I have changed very much since the beginning of this blog. And I am still realizing who I am now, and because of that I am a little weary of expressing myself to my loyal fanbase, who no doubt follows my every word.

However, I feel that all you small people deserve a post, so, here it is.

I am less hateful now, but more pessimistic. I find that I am beginning to see the good in people but also realize, like always, that they will let me down or leave me. It is inevitable. It is unpreventable. And it is unfortunate. But people are selfish, and I am far from the most pleasing person to be around or talk with. This is some my fault, I do admit that. But still, I like to believe that I would stay with someone to fully assess their personality and not just leave at the first thing I disagree with. Differences can be charming, sometimes. But others do not see it like that. Instead they see with only hate and the stupidity, and cannot overcome this to listen to reason or accurately assess a situation.

I wish I were a better person sometime. I wish I were smarter, stronger, less negative, less useless to the world. It is depressing, because I had always hoped for the best, but the I feel like instead of this I am only average. Only another fish, who swims with no meaning and can lose his life in an instant without another noticing, only satisfying the larger, better fish that ate him.


Adios mis amigos.
This is a song that expresses my feelings. . .
Greg Laswell, It comes and goes in waves

In one blink of your eyes you have missed seeing

It has been an interesting and illuminating few days.

It has been reemphasized in my universe that people are all the same. (Not boo-hoo, everyone is the same, uniqueness is impossible) In every social aspect, in all social groups, the core aspects of character and action are all the same. People do not vary from the repetitive social reactions. In every situation and every problem, the end result is the same. This is true within all groups and with all people. It is as if people are automatically situated to respond in only this way or that and cannot stray from this in any way.

And this would commonly be acceptable, but it gets tiring the second, third, and fourth time through the same reactions and the same questions and statements.

It would be much simpler just to replay the response the the first time, because the reaction to this response will be exactly the same as the last.

It is only troubling when one wishes for realistic reactions or logical (instead of knee jerk) reactions.

It makes life tedious and repetitive, which is sad when there is so much potential for difference.

That is all.

"The river tells no lies, though standing on the shore, the dishonest man still hears them."
"Lightning flashes, sparks shower, in one blink of your eyes you have missed seeing."
-Oma Desala, Stargate SG-1

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages. . .

Geek media expo is this weekend. I am very excited (not because I am a geek, but because there are places for these kind of people.) I am attending (to assure that all those who are geeks stay there, and do not try to assimilate themselves into the surrounding culture) with some friends on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Also, Spanish is scheduled to let out early tomorrow, which is always good news. Recently, I have been feeling that the subjects covered in my classes have been previously covered in past institutions. (Apparently, my high school did better than I had thought.) And because of this, I have been increasingly unoccupied in each class. These classes are required, though, so I have to attend. (That is, as long as I wish to maintain a passing grade.)


And to my family (who are the only ones who truly follow these posts), I love you all very much.


Goodbye for now. 

Picard: What we leave behind is as important as how we’ve lived. After all, Number One, we’re only mortal.
Riker: Speak for yourself, sir. I plan to live forever.

-Star Trek: Generations

 

 

"For each of these, you will always calculate a degree of freedom"

I'm currently in my Biology lab. We brought our computers in today so we could calculate mean, standard deviation, density, etc. It's easy and I feel like I could do better things with my time, but it doesn't really matter, you aren't working for personal gain, just for a grade. An arbitrary number that accentuates an individuals ability to consume data and spit it out with a high degree of accuracy.


However, I did get an A on my Biology exam, which I am quite proud of, seeing that the rest of the class apparently bombed. I only extrapolate this because our professor offered "amnesty" and gave a lecture on the how college exams are different than "exams you may have taken before." I guess I am well versed in data digestion.

Also, I've been very busy lately, hence the lack of posts.

Well, perhaps I will write more later. I have to complete a draft of a paper for my Great Works class, finish my Spanish homework, then complete an outline for a Biology paper.

Appendum: I got a B on my Chemistry Exam! I was expecting a D or lower, so I am very happy. :D

Ciao!

Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.
-Freud
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
- Sigmund Freud, And I Quote

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth

Hola mightly blogdom!

Today we will discuss my thoughts on alchohol and drug use, specifically in a college setting and by those indiviuals who do not pass the mark (you must be this old to harm your body.) On this topic, I feel I must warn you, many will disagree with my views. Actually, nearly to completely all of you will.

I am anti-everything. I feel that our bodies are gifts (God's gifts. . .just kidding, no God talk here) given to us by an amazing and spectacular evolutionary line. (see blog #1 if you are confused) And to take deliberate action to destroy that gift is just, well, stupid. And this is reason number one for my hatred of these (and all) substances. I feel like it is important to try to be your best (whatever that may be) and to just surrender that for nothing is like a starving man throwing his last loaf of bread into the water because the splash looks interesting. There are other ways to produce a splash.

That is the primary reason for my concern. And following that, the loss of respect and lack of trust. It is an issue that you (any of you) would be willing to do that. And this leads to my next topic, which may seem a little "woe-is-me" but I will discuss it anyway.

I have worked hard to stay healthy. I am a juvenile diabetic and that lovely feeling of health (that you all enjoy with no work) is sometimes a difficult thing to accomplish. So, if you are so willing to give it up then I can do nothing but scoff at your stupidity. It is selfish to juggle your wellbeing so precariously when others fight for theirs every single day....

So, if you ever feel the need to do these obviously imbecilic actions, please don't talk to me about them or invite me to be included, because the answer will be no, and I, honestly, will never look at you the same again.

"The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth." - John F. Kennedy

I am nothing to you but Captain, and you, nothing to me but passengers.

Hello. Today we will explore the ever-fasinating world of male hormones. . . just kidding. Although, at times I would love to explore those (seemingly empty) minds. They seem to have no real rational thought process or logical reasoning  at all, (at least at a teenage level) but hey, who am I to question the thought processes of others (ah, how sad, the odd girl wants to know about boys).

Anyway, I have a (nauseatingly) large amount of work I actually have to do, but sometimes even I (what?? the great you?) enjoy spending time finding other less important (meaning totally pointless) activities to spend my time on. So, at this moment I am blogging, and later I will probably dedicate a large portion of my time to multiple pacings of the hallway or a few games of the historically facinating game of polar bowler (available on Gateway Games) Exhilarating, I know.

Ah, college life, it is amazing to discover the amount of time we have absolutely nothing to do. Honestly, sunday evening, and the best I have come up with (remember, I am very close to genius) is to blog to my 4 (thousand) fans.

But seriously, let's explore a topic. How about occupying a room with another? That sounds good to me (the one who actually matters) so lets begin.

In my case it is actually not as utterly annoying as it may sound (or seem) to some of you. I got off easy though, others I know have been expelled from their dwellings multiple times for. . . um, well. . for personal activities. These activities demonstrate two things; One, the less than active mind of young men (stupidity at its greatest) and, two, the clear selfish nature of the human race.

Now, there are those of you out there who may want to glorify this selfishness. (cough *males* cough) You may say things like, "well, this selfish nature is the key to our survival." And that, my friends, is bull. You and I both know it. Although I would love to have something to cherish or praise as part of the human race,(Ice cream, chocolate cake, democracy?) I am afraid anything that you try to do this with is also directly related with a horrible or humiliating standard amoung our species. (weight gain, nausea, communism)

Disgusted? Me too, don't worry, the stomachache inducing initial feelings soon fade to simple dissatisfaction. (followed by a drive to leap out of the nearest window, which you may want to try to ignore)

And as for men and the thoughts surronding that chunk of human nature, well, that may just remain a mystery. (And you may not want to waste your time, I don't blame you) *

But I am quite thankful for my roommate. She is quiet, rarely present, and easy to get along with. (sorry everyone else, life just sucks, doesn't it?) So thank you Jessica, for that much.

Well, adios copius followers! Tomorrow we will tackle the tricky topics of frivolous alcohol and drug use (which I am thoroughly and completely against.)

*I will add a stipend for those of you who do not follow this general ouline of "guydom." (those very few "good guys" who always fall to the wayside) You may see the altered logic and problematic importance of those "other" guys. Good for you, you are there to keep. Lovely, wish there were more of you, then we could finally have a decent society. (sort of) And please, continue with the hightened level of evolution, the women of the world will find you and cherish you, I promise. But honestly, you need to represent, because this summary (my lovely blog) is what the world sees now, so please, begin assimilation of the weaker of your sex. (Thank you)



"Sir," replied the commander, "I am nothing to you but Captain Nemo; and you and your companions are nothing to me but the passengers of the Nautilus." - Jules Verne, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea